A lot of times, when we want to change our habits, because we know deep down in our hearts, this is what is best for us, we start to feel challenged. We begin doing things we have not done, we want to live ways we have not lived, and this is because we want what we have not had whether the goal is health or stealth or wealth. And this can absolutely challenge our personas or who we think we are.
I find that living on less, by spending less, shopping less, saving more, eating in more, getting more creative, and taking care of ourselves more from a holistic perspective, can be extremely frustrating to our old psyches.
Can we be who we are , but spend a lot less?
How can you feel beautiful, and self-care, and feel glamours, and feel fancy, and have fun, and be entertained, and “live life to the fullest” and everything that is glamorized that DOES make us feel good instantly, but know you have to take a step back and put a stop to this?
How can you DENY yourself all you want in material possessions and activities, yet still feel amazing? How can you treat yourself well, by not buying what you feel you may need, or what makes you feel good?
It’s certainly awesome to go to the store, and buy new threads. It’s super to go to the nail salon, and then to get your hair did, and to get new shoes, and new bags, and Whole Foods groceries, and top of the line everything and anything, and come home and get dressed for an event, or maybe no event at all, and feel GREAT. You feel like a million, know you spent close to this.
So the question is: How can you feel GOOD, but perhaps be selective or more selective of where your dollars go? More importantly, can you feel good CONSISTENTLY, without going bonkers each week or month financially? Can you feel as good as the celebrities look on Instagram, but go without spending their budget, and your budget and your kids college, to feel the same?
First, be aware that the above may be the truth for you. That this may be the truth. That spending money on yourself, makes you feel really really good. But perhaps it doesn’t align with where you want to be financially next week, or next month, or next year or in five years. Perhaps it is a very quick feel good feeling, and then it quickly goes away. Being honest with ourselves about how our spending makes us feel, is the first step in taking back a bit of our control. The money does not flow out the door, we open the door, put the industrial fan on, and blow that ish.
What is it REALLY you are after? Are you after looking good or feeling good? What is most important to you, while out and about and spending the money? Do you want beautiful nails, or healthy nails? What feelings are you craving most? Do you want to be loved, or do you want to be admired? Once we narrow in on EXACTLY what we want, you can cut your budget in half. The most important feeling I’m after is health. I just love feeling fit and healthy, because it makes me feel sooooo good. But when I don’t feel fit, or healthy, or happy, I’m the first one who wants to buy something NEW to make me feel good. I have stopped this habit (regardless of how I feel), but this was certainly true in the past. When something is off, spending money feels better. But it’s a very fleeting and short lived feeling.
Lay down, sit down, and narrow in on exactly what you want. When we all get honest, the answer is NEVER necessarily more possessions or more material things. It’s usually and always positive feelings and emotions, it’s always freedom and peace and happiness and health. And those things – you can certainly purchase, but the key is to figure out how to have them permanently, and for free.
Are there spending habits you just need to cut, or cut out completely from your life? I can only imagine that some people have an established habit of going to the mall, or spending money without even THINKING about it. Perhaps Friday nights are always going out nights, or happy hours, or if there is a birthday party or a wedding, it’s always new outfit buys. Taking a step back, and just closing the door on these automatic habits, will turn that money fan off. What can you do instead? How creative can you get? What else could you do, during this time, to decrease that spending time? How can you better SERVE yourself and your family and the hard earned income you welcome as often as you are lucky to welcome it, to be more of who YOU are and not the habits that have been established?
The holidays just passed, and I along with so many people had to think hard and often about buying too much for the kiddos. They are all such wonderful little humans, who don’t experience getting new stuff all the time. But they have everything they need and everything they could possibly want. Yet still, it was HARD for me, not to want them to open up A LOT of gifts. But I thought to myself, and though how could I still make Christmas wonderful, and happy and enjoyable and special and bring in that WOW factor, without killing my spirit, without crushing our budget, or putting us in debt. It’s not about that one day – but the many days after. How can I still be the LOVING MOM by spending less? And so, we established a tradition a long time ago, that each of us opens a present one at a time. So instead of all of us going nuts for 5 minutes straight and ripping wrapping paper, we take turns, and really take the time to do this. It’s even more fun the more people you have in your home, because it takes so much longer, and gives us all time together and requires fewer gifts.
Make a list of things, you can do each and every single day, that makes you feel really good about you. Most people spend all their extra cash because it either makes them feel good, or it’s just a habit they have developed and played for weeks or years. If money you are spending is NOT serving who you are – deep down inside, do not spend it. Save it.
Learn. Maybe there is a topic you want to learn more about. Do more research on this topic. Learn more. Get excited about becoming a mini expert on something that you ALREADY love or have interest in. If you can’t think of a single thing you want to learn more about – start off with financial nuggets. There are so many awesome blogs, and articles and videos on this topic. If you are reading this, you have an interest in this, and health and stealth – so start with google search on any of these.
Move your body. Even after working out for most of my life, I am STILL amazed how good it makes us all feel. I just can’t believe it. I am literally in AWE about this phenomenon every single day. Move your body any way you want. Maybe it’s just walking or lifting weights but engaging in exercise whether it’s specific and direct (like a GYM session or an aerobics class), or just walking or riding your bike to the grocery store, get it done.
Get creative. I know not all of us feel like we’re budding artists. But there is something in every single human being that makes them feel alive. What is it for you? Do more of this? For me, I love writing. I feel it nourishes my soul. I love reading with my son. I love cleaning up my home (I know, talk about how wildly the creative juice must flow out of me!). I love love love feeding my children and main man. I just love it. These are TINY little things I focus on daily, so I don’t get distracted by shiny objects, or shiny services disguised as “convenience”.
Think quietly. I am not very good at meditation. I have tried to sit there and breath and quiet my mind, but I usually start making a mental list of things I have to do and find the actual practice of just sitting there not my cup of tea (this could and should certainly change in the future). But I do enjoy thinking. Each night before bed, if I don’t pass out like a tired working mama zombie, I take just a few seconds to legit be grateful for the day, and grateful for my husband. When I wake up in the AM, I often think the same. I start my day by just laying there and just saying thank you. I have to get up to run, but before I do, I just think thank you. You can totally do this anytime and all the time. If a spending challenge is presented, you can always just turn it around and think instead. I know it’s wacky but the ONLY way we will change our habits is when we change our thinking. Sitting there or standing there or laying there, with focused and positive thoughts in our mind, is the most important start.
Most days, I’m just grateful for the weather.
We have it all. Whatever your situation. Whatever your status or position or goal, or whatever hole you think you are in. You and I already have it all. It’s not about having the latest Louie bag, or the latest AirMax, or being already debt free, but it’s about knowing and believing you absolutely already have it ALL to be who you are, and need nothing else. You don’t need anything, and I mean anything to be more of who you truly desire to be. You don’t need a gold this, or a diamond that or a fast thing, or a more expensive ring or anything. YOU have it ALLLLLL. The only thing you must do right now is to start to BELIEVE it. Be 1000% responsible for how you feel about yourself.
Start to immediately recognize your talents, and your work ethic, and the love in your heart, the funny out of your mouth and the beauty of your life. Appreciate what you do each day, and be excited for what you will start doing each day, that will give you a stronger and more peaceful life.
You can ONLY be more you, by recognizing and loving the real you. And this my lovely human beings, is completely free.