A lot of times, when we are excited and motivated to pursue our goals and journeys, we start making lists of what we can NOT do. This usually happens in the very beginning when our confidence in the goal and process is ultra high
NO Sleeping In
Whatever it may be, and it may be completely different for us all. I too, initially start thinking about how successful I can be in my goals at work and in life and in home and in play, if I just start cutting things out!
But the opposite approach is actually much more positive and works quite well. Instead of what you CAN’T do or CAN’T have or will never ever do again, make up lists – mental or physical – of actions and thoughts of what YOU CAN DO and SHOULD DO in all of your goals.
Create lists for each of your goals of what YOU CAN do and what you must allow yourself to do. So instead of saying you can NEVER buy this or that again, or eat this or that, or think about a tough situation in this or that way – instead, focus on what you CAN do.
In regards to spending, focus on what you can buy – in mostly abundance. I can buy all GREEN VEGGIES, and fruits, and whole food from the produce section. I can spend $20 every other day in the produce section so that I constantly have fresh grub available. I CAN always have my children’s favorite fruit available for them. I CAN make them homemade treats because that eliminates all of the processed ones I sometimes buy instead. Filling up your list of EVERYTHING you can do – is an amazing way to tackle the methods and get to your goals.
If you are working hard at not eating out, and eating more at home, you MUST allow yourself to buy a special meal/ingredients once or twice a week, or whatever works best for you. If you love salmon SPEND the money on a nice piece of wild caught salmon, instead of buying the same at a restaurant. Create a bunch of FUN rules for your goals – that will make achieving your goals that much more enjoyable, sustainable, and possible.
If you have big health and diet goals – make a list of all the GRUB that you can have, that your body wants you to have. Maybe it’s food, or water, or even red wine. Add in some fun foods that you love, but choose the best options.
If you commit to never ever eating a gram of sugar ever again, it might mentally kill your diet game. But if you can say to yourself: once a week I’ll make really fun dessert for the house, and I’ll google a way to make this treat as healthy as possible – then that’s a win. Or allow yourself all the blueberries or cherries or strawberries possible. Instead of focusing on never eating dessert again, focus on dessert, but make it better yourself.
If you are focusing on getting stronger emotionally – make up a ton of rules of what YOU CAN DO, and HOW TO REACT to certain pressures, stress, worries, and situations. You can certainly ALWAYS cry it out, or you can write about it, you can create new habits like drink water, call/text a friend, google things on the Internet and watch videos of how people have dealt with the same stress and pressure in the past. Anything you could possibly need to know or want someone else’s opinion on – is on YouTube. And when we learn about how others are handling the same struggles we have – it’s so refreshing. I love those aha moments, when I learn from others, and then can use what they have shared in my own life.
If you have tough relationships, or if you are dealing with a difficult past or even a frustrating present, write out all of the ways and rules of how you can positively HANDLE a situation. Instead of telling yourself you will NEVER EVER get angry again, or you will never ever send a mean text, or you will never ever think negatively again, write out POSITIVE rules of how you may handle a situation. Perhaps you will journey – just a few sentences a day, perhaps you can sneak off and breath deeply for two minutes before reacting, perhaps you have a book that you can just quickly open up and read a few lines from (Eat Pray & Love does this for me all the time), or you can create a habit of taking a walk (even if it’s a few minutes) each day to open up the mind while breathing in some fresh air. Even make up positive rules of how you can handle a situation AFTER some disappointment. Maybe you can promise yourself to apologize, or explain yourself, or ask for an explanation – instead of anger and all those less helpful emotions.
My favorite way of dealing with frustration, disappointment or some type of unhappiness that comes my way, is really doing nothing. I’ve learned and am learning how to let a lot of these incidences pass quietly, pass quickly and pass without much reaction from me. I also credit the morning running to getting so much emotionally stronger this year, because so little can bother you, when you feel good. Not necessarily physically, but mentally. It just is all good, even the un-good, there are lessons in it all.
So what type of positive lists and rules can you create for yourself today?
What do you want to achieve today and this month?
Where do you want to strengthen? What type of resilience do you seek?
How can creating a list of items you may SPEND ON, create a better financial future for you and your family?
When anxiety comes your way, what are the positive rules of dealing with it and what it brings?
What are some positive activities you can engage in, to stay on the right track, on the healthy road, on the way to your goals?
I can always drink water.
I can always drink tea.
I can always go to sleep early.
I can always read.
I can always say I love you.
I can always make and eat a salad.
I can always pay my credit card off early.
I can always eat through my cabinets.
I can always take a hot shower.
I can always go for a walk.
I can always pay my utilities bills, early.
I can always sit down and play with my kids.
I can always learn more.
I can always buy the pre-made salads.
… Endless possibilities here.
Instead of rebelling against the negative and the limited, we must create the positive for ourselves and get there perhaps slower, but more soundly, less abruptly and in a ton more peace and permanence. Cheers, Winners!