Happy and Happiness. How to get happy, and stay happy.

I was talking to my great girlfriend this week, and I hope she doesn’t mind me saying, but she struggles with being happy, yet, she wants this so badly for her everyday life.  She wants to stop stressing, stop worrying, and just be happy with her life, and everything she’s built for herself.

I love her so much, as I do all of the people who just ROCK out in their lives, and it pains me to hear that for a large portion of her life, she has used one of the most incredible work ethics out there and created an incredible life for herself, yet still struggles to live in that happy, simple, peaceful place.

So many humans, so many women, and mothers, have a hard time, perhaps sitting back, or throughout their busy days to feel that sense of contentment, nirvana and feeling of just being grateful for all they have.  But we must change this.  We deserve to feel good.  All women deserve to get there, be there, and stay there, in a state of easy bliss.

What is true, and what we all know for sure, that having more, doing more, getting more, buying more, spending more, changing more, isn’t going to bring us that feeling of calm, feeling of relaxation, or feelings of happiness.  But what will do it, is constantly checking in with your feelings of gratefulness.  It’s not about anyone else, it’s not about your circumstances, it is not about luck, it’s not about what you don’t have, but about fully understanding and tapping into your feelings of gratefulness for your life.  It’s about feeling lucky already, for everything that has happened.

What do you focus on as soon as you wake up?  Do you wake up with anxiety or worry or stress about what you have to do, what you need to do, what you can’t do, what you don’t have money to do, or do you slowly rise from your bed, or allow yourself to stay in there a bit, and say thank you for it all.

It’s important to note, that none of us have it “all”.  None of us are the Kardashian sisters with millions of fans, and endless amounts of money, and resources to PERFECT every aspect of our lives.  We are real humans, real women, real people who must work extremely hard and smart to live the lives of our dreams.  But this is all possible, and possible immediately, and at the end of day, the absolute best way to live and be and create.

Wake up and say thank you.  Say thank you to yourself for your ability to wake up and breath.  Say thank you for the bed you just slept in, for the person next to you, for the kiddos in your home, for your pets, for the food in your fridge, for the furniture around you.  Say thank you for the chaos that may immediately erupt because of the pets and the kids and perhaps even the spouse.  Say THANK YOU for the argument you may have had the night before, because this means you are ALIVE and you are human.  Say thank you to everything that comes to your mind that is a current challenge or obstacle in your life.  Without challenges, we can’t get stronger.  It is IMPOSSIBLE to get and grow stronger without resistance.  Say THANK YOU for all of this.  Say thank you for the mess, for the laundry, for the groceries.

If you feel you have NOTHING good at all in your life now, say thank you for this too, because this means you are starting off, starting fresh.  Say thank you for your health, regardless of it’s status.  If you are in your worst possible health situation ever, still say thank you to those cells in your body that are functioning well.  Be grateful for the health that you do have, and focus on how you can start to nourish what is good, and improve onto your strengths.

If your past is a mess, be grateful for this too.  I know it’s tough, I know it’s impossible to understand WHY something happened, why someone touched you, why someone abused you, why someone didn’t love you, but calmly say thank you for this too. Thank you for giving me this pain, this torture, because I will NOW use it to get better.

If you suffered a great loss in your life, perhaps your love, perhaps your child, perhaps your sister or brother, or mother or father.  Say thank you for this too.  You knew them, you loved them, you experienced what you did with them, and now you can cherish the memories and remember just the best about them.

Start breathing.  Start to take in deep breaths as often, throughout the day as possible.  Give yourself time to breath, and let it all sink in.  How good do you have it?  What are your favorite things about you?  About your home?  About your spouse?  About your kids? Your car, your fun?  What do you love so much about your life?

If you physically need to take out a piece of paper, write it all out. 

I am grateful for…

…in my life, and start writing it all out.

Let it all flow out.  I am grateful for my husband, my health, my children, my dog, my cat, our bed, our home, our food, Publix, and Aldi, and friends and neighbors, and the sun, and living here, and the world, and everyone that does so much good for others.  I’m grateful for my childhood, and my teen years, and my college years, and my 20ies, and everyone I’ve loved, and my 30ies, and being 35, and everything and everything.  Start writing it all out.  Start jotting down, everything that is SOOOOO DARNNNNNN GOOOOOOD in your life.

My adorable little kitty – we love her so much, and all that green.  Each day, I try to stay grateful for these plants, because they are so beautiful.  They are just green, and nothing extremely special, but still, how cool that they are life.

Also, at the Flag Football game last weekend, a truck pulled up, called Lucky Goat and they were giving out complimentary cups of coffee.  I was so happy to have one, and it was so freaken delicious, that i’m still happy I had a chance to have one.  I’m still like “you know that’s some delicious coffee” and I feel my day is better TODAY, almost a week after this cup because of it.  Get to this state, just get freaken excited about all those tiny small things that make your day.  Look for them.  Look for them everywhere.

Don’t focus on any of the bad.  At one point, you won’t even need to categorize anything in your life as “bad” because everything will be there for a reason.  It’s a very powerful state to get to.  View everything is a lesson, and nothing is permanent.  But the sooner you can start to focus on the good, the less bad there is.  Again, I completely understand none of us live in completely ideal situations all of the time.  Not me, not you, not our neighbors, not our friends, not our extended family.  I get it, we all from time to time, or ALL the time, have to deal with shit.  But this is okay, and we must still find the good in everything, all the time anyway.  What are you focusing on?  What are you thinking about?  Where are you putting your energy?

The other day, we received an email from the association, that we must immediately replace our water heater.  It wasn’t broken, it wasn’t leaking, it was working just fine, but immediately, we had 45 days to provide a receipt of a brand new water heater.  As you can imagine, my first thought was like, are you serious?  Why?  Why do we have to go out and spend $1450 on a brand new water heater, when our old one was just fine.? But you know what I did instead.  I sent the email to my husband, asked him to set up an appt with a local heating company, and get this done asap.  I could have walllllllowed in my pity, I could have been reallllllly upset, I could have been annoyed, I could have gone back and forth on email with my association contact, and let this DRAGGGG on for so long.  I could have posted about it on social media about how ANNNNOYING this situation is, but instead, we handled it. It’s not about the money, because no one has or wants to spend $1450 to just go about and use up, BUT it’s about not causing myself MORE issues, more mental anguish than necessary.  At the end of the day, we replaced the water heater, we sent over the receipt, and the situation is handled and over.  And instead of getting upset, I was grateful we own a condo, in a development that cares enough and is smart enough to help all of the units stay healthy and updated, so that major damage is never done.  I’m also grateful that I won’t get a phone call, in the middle of the night, of a water heater, in the middle of December, leaking, no longer working, and getting SURPRISED.

It’s always about finding that silver lining, always.  It’s often confusing why some humans, why some of us have to go through really hard times, whether chronic hard times that never seem to end, or major situations that arise, that throw us on our arse – backwards & blindfolded.  Will we always know exactly why something happened?  Nope, that’s just how life goes and works.  But we can still work hard at finding a new normal, and still find the absolute GOOD in it all.

The only difference between humans is what we choose to focus on.  We can always focus on the negative in everything, or we can choose to focus on the positive of it all.  It’s fun to be happy.  It’s fun to enjoy your days, even when there are some really crappy parts to them.  My daughter is in a mood where a lot of the morning is a battle, and instead of talking – she whines-cries.  It’s a combination of the BEST of toddler years where everything is a whine combined with a cry.  Writing it out doesn’t seem like the worst but being exposed to this many hours each day, it can wear on you.  She’s extremely competitive, and has to do a lot of things exactly her way, or else the whine-cry comes out.  Even when she goes through her morning exactly how she wants, it’s a whine-cry morning regardless.  She wants the pants with the stars on them, she wants candy, she wants to get dressed first, she doesn’t want Friday socks, but instead Sunday socks.  She wants to open the drawer and close it exactly her way, she wants to pull up her blinds, she doesn’t want the dog to lay down, she wants to close his crate, she doesn’t want her brother to talk, she doesn’t want to brush her hair, she wants her ponytail in the back and now it’s too high.  She’s upset her diapers say size 5 and not 3, because she’s three and not five.  I mean, this is endless, and can go on and she can stay strong and persistent.  But instead, I just keep breathing through it all.  The GOOD news is that she is healthy, and mostly happy, and she slept well, and is behaving well in school, and she’s fun in the PM, and very independent, and social, and absolutely my best friend.  The good news is that because she sets me up for such resilience each morning, that whatever bad news, whatever upsetting and unsuccessful info I get throughout the day from work, isn’t anywhere as tough or as hard as what she puts me through.


We can find it in everything.

I go outside each day/most days, and every day I’m grateful for the beauty that surrounds me.  It takes my breath away, and I never want to not cherish this.  Because it makes me feel I have it all.  And these are just such simple things.

While chatting with my friend, I told her to just keep breathing throughout her day, and whenever her mind went to stress, or worry, to bring it back to gratefulness.  Consonantly get excited about what you DO have, what you already have.  If you have to PRETEND that you have something that you do not yet have, do that anyway.  It’s the only thing that will change.  Being thankful, being grateful, being happy, being in peace, means you have to immediately find this in your life already, and be grateful for it right now.

Even if you have to start small, start there.  Maybe you love your fleece blanket, or the brand of socks you have, or you love the way your hair moves, or your eyes, or you have just the best father or mother — whatever it is, focus on this, and constantly, and all the time, bring your mind back to what is already full, already right, already strong, already perfect in your life.  Removing thoughts and emotions and feelings about what is NOT right, will get us all closer to living that life of peace, and tranquility and natural flow, and success and progression and positive change, and growth and nonstop learning.  Focusing on the good, staying grateful all day long, for what we have, what we’ve built, who we are becoming and have become, will give us all and everything in life that we need and we want.

Cheers, Grateful Humans.


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