Saving More, Spending Less, not causing yourself more stress.

Saving money, and spending less is not for everyone.  It’s not everyone’s cup of decaf tea, it’s not necessarily for your neighbor or friend or family member.  Even if you think those in your lives should save more money, spend less money, if it’s not for them, it’s okay to move on and accept this.

For me, it’s like freeing my soul, and giving it wings to fly in forever freedom!  Basically, I’m so incredibly passionate that living on less, brings me so much more, I can talk and write about it all day long.

Yet, we live in a world, where spending large amount of cash or credit is the norm. It’s easy to subscribe there, buy this, buy that again, buy that, need this, and rent that, and buy into that, and just buy buy buy.  And that’s not even including the regular bills, the regular necessities that are impossible to get out of.  I was watching Extreme Cheapskates on TLC years and years ago, and this adorable Asian woman (who I do think had a mental illness about saving money to a certain degree), did not understand why she had to pay a BASIC fee for her GAS bill, even though she was not using her gas.  So instead, she turned off her gas stove and purchased an electric cook-top instead, removing the fee all together.

My family and friends and community save me from turning into one of these humans, because it would be actually really fun to see how LITTLE you could live on, BUT, let’s get back to real life here.

Why is spending less, and saving more – important?

Because it gives us freedom.  Not wanting and not needing more than what we already have is freeing.  We don’t have to work extra, or we don’t necessarily have to work more.  We have freedom to work as we please or freedom to do work that brings us the most happiness.  My son was eating breakfast today, and he turned his head away from a commercial, and said, “You know what mom, I don’t like commercials, they just make you want to buy stuff we don’t need.”

It made me laugh thinking I’m staring at a little young-old man, but he somehow gets it.  Ironically we never really talk about saving money or not spending it with the kids just yet (because they are young), but perhaps he gets it, because he knows the only place we really go to spend our cash is the grocery stores!  And that’s enough for us, for now.

It’s really freeing to wake up each day and know you have all you need.

I’m a regular human wife mom woman and community member and neighbor.  I want the nice stuff too!!!  But, it’s more important to me to not have a new charge on my credit card bill, than brand new flip flops (which would be massively amazing right now.)  I get it, I’m with everyone else and I can appreciate nice and expensive and quality and fancy and fun and beautiful things.  It’s not like I’m living under the rock and can’t see the value you get by spending more on quality things.  But, I would rather not buy something, if I truly don’t need it.

It’s a practice, a practice we can all perfect as time goes on. 

I remember a life, perhaps a decade ago, where I would spend my weekends at the mall.  I would shop Lord & Taylor, and Marshall’s, and Walmart, and buy everything from nice bags, to nice clothes to everything my home needed.  And now-a-days, I spend my weekends cleaning my home, or cooking inside, or being outside with my children and neighbor-friends.

Was I any happier back then?  Did I feel better about myself?  Absolutely not.  If anything, I’m totally digging my life of LIFE so much more now, than the buying and buying I was engaging in nonstop before.

Replace your spending habits. 

We’re all creatures of habit.  We like to do what we do, what we’ve done, what we’ve been taught, what brings us feelings of nostalgia, and fun and love and care, and comfort and security.  But when all of that does not bring us more comfort or security, it’s time to replace our spending habits with habits that do.  Instead of running to Macy’s for a Saturday sale like every Saturday, stay home instead, or go walk at a park.  Instead of buying a brand new dress or outfit for the next event, just wear what’s in your closet.  I know, instantly and immediately, we might get a sense of insecurity.  But what if I don’t look good or feel good?  But what if you do?  What’s more important to you?

We are a society and world who craves and is used to instant gratification.  Credit card companies and all banking institutions that lend us money at a ridiculous FEES are making billions and billions on this phenomenon.  Start living the way we lived in the past: If we had it, we spent it, after we saved, and if we did not have, we did not buy.

If you don’t have $80 right now in your bank account to pay off your current credit card bill, then you don’t need a pedi, or a new pair of jeans, or a meal out.

If you don’t have enough in your bank account to be debt free from all credit card debt, you don’t have enough to plan a vacation, or buy a new pet.

I know these sound like really harsh words, and I know you may be cursing the screen right now calling me a crazy horse, but take a deep breath, and realize that getting in tune with your truth, your goals, and what you have to do, is a must.  The longer we are in denial, the more damage we can cause our financial selves and future.

Because we’re all different it’s okay to acknowledge our priorities.  Perhaps you love spending on yourself at the spa each week, or maybe house cleaning, or maybe with the grub you buy, or the car you drive, or the gadgets in your home, or the books you buy, or education, or hats or bags or shoes or travel.  Whatever it may be, we all have something that we can not or do not want to comprise on.  I’m okay with this.  I think it’s important to have things we are passionate about, but you can’t be passionate and prioritize it all. 

If you love spending on your kids’ clothes, good, but then cut back on your own threads.  If you love your car, cut back on your home, if you love a good bag, then cut back on your shoes.  Whatever it may be, choose 1 item, or 1 category, and start there.  For me, it’s certainly food.  I love buying food and shopping for it, and it’s hard for me to walk away from the $6.29 pasture raised eggs from Publix, and buy organic or cage free ones instead, or even the $.79 ones from Aldi, that are “normal.”  I will buy those ridiculously expensive eggs, because that’s what’s important to me.  Buttttt, you won’t see me out grabbing lunch at a restaurant ever, or dinner, because I know in my head I spend ENOUGH already at the regular store.  And every time I eat an egg or feed them to my children, I think about their value and appreciate them.

But that’s me, that works for me, and that’s what I prioritize right now in my life.  And when I say this works for me, I mean, I have to spend A LOT LESS ON groceries, and continue to EAT through what we already have.  Groceries are always wayyyy toooo expensive and it’s always a budget area I have to get better at saving.

Start off with just tracking what you buy, what you spend, and then slowly cut back and cut things out.  I’ve been tracking our spending in January and February and it’s AMAZING how many things come up.  Birthdays and gifts, and new flag football signup and then a $250 tackle football sign up, and then this and that, and a celebration that requires more grub, and a new water heater, and camp and this and that, and it’s endless.  And that’s ON TOP of regular bills.  I can see why most of us have a hard time making it each month without carrying over a credit card balance.  Add on top of this all the EXTRA and unneeded we buy each month, and we’re buried.  We’re buried, and it’s hard to point to a reason why we’re in this situation except to accept the responsibility and task ourselves with the digging out.

Find pleasure in the free. 

Especially when changing our saving and spending habits, we have to get busy living that free life, and doing activities that do not cost money or do not cost extra.  Can you get yourself out of the house to the beach or to a park one day each weekend?  Can you take your pet to the dog park?  Can you do a lot of things, you used to pay for, yourself?  Can you wash your own car, can you scrub your own toilets (I know this is gross, but it may be worth it), can you eat in or eat out, by making a picnic and taking it to a local outdoor spot?  I know, I get it, change sucks and it’s hard and it’s obnoxious, and it may even feel unfair.

See, we create our own lives.  We don’t create what we have been given, or what we have not been given, but we certainly create the LIFE we want going forward.  It’s not always fair – the financial discrepancy between people – but it’s still okay.

Some of the wealthiest people are unhappy and miserable – people who appear to have it ALL, and then the most impoverished people – are some of the happiest and most free humans out there.  And most of us are somewhere in the middle.  We are healthy, we are smart, we have access to information, we can think for our selves, and BEST OF ALL – we can always reverse the damage, especially when we start today.

Figure out your plan, write it out, and execute.  It’s so much fun.

Cheers Savers!





Schwinn Airdyne – getting stronger with this bike.

I just got off my Schwinn Airdyne bike, and I have been riding that badddddd boy every morning since my hip starting hurting from running.

12 days – Schwinn Airdyne bike

1 day – elliptical

40 days – running 

I am dedicating myself to building up my arse/glutes, and leg muscles, by squatting and doing some dead lifts with dumbbells to hopefully strengthen THAT WHOLE AREA, so I can run again.  The other day I was listening to an amazing video, and in it they said:  running is a PRIVILEGE.  You must first be STRONG, and then you can run.

This really makes a lot of sense to me, because the goal isn’t to hurt myself or run through injuries, but to use running and all cardio to keep that heart muscle strong, and the mind wise.  The weight training is a must for me, and it will be fun to see what happens in the next few months.

Yesterday, after taking my dog for a walk, I got home, and did bent over rows, and shoulder presses and these dead-lifts with my 25lb dumbbells.  I am certainly sore this morning, but I was even more excited to get on the Schwinn this morning.  I love this machine because it’s simple, but it does so much for the body. It quickly gets the heart rate up, but then, because it’s using both the legs and arms to move the Schwinn, it feels like my muscles are growing as I ride. There’s no “going through the motion” on this thing, you must keep pushing and pulling the entire ride.

I purchased this Schwinn for myself as a college graduation gift in 2004.  I believe it was about $600.  I remember dragging it up to a 3rd floor apartment, and then riding it whenever I could.  It made so many moves throughout the years, but thankfully, it still is in good shape.  It uses AIR as resistance, so there’s no plugging in.  The screen still works, which is good, because I would have no clue how to replace it or fix it if it broke, though I having a feeling my husband could figure it out.  I’m sure it’s powered by a simple battery.

My neighbor came by the other day, and she thought it was an antique, because this machine has been around for so long.  She remembered a family member having it years and years ago.  Now they just made them newer, but the whole model is the same, so it does look very old school.  I often see them on the sidelines of NFL games, keeping the players warm and their blood flowing.

The ONLY bad part about this particular Schwinn is that it’s LOUD.  You couldn’t be on it, and not have your ear buds in.  You couldn’t watch TV, while riding it, unless your ear buds connected to the TV.  I listen to YouTube songs or videos, and have no issues, but with my buds in.  I ride it out in my garage, because if I rode it in the house, the whole house would hear it. My son is usually up by 6am, but even if he was sleeping, I’ve made sure that he can’t hear it in his room.   In my first post college apartment, which was on the 2nd floor, I could never ride it, because it caused my neighbor’s 1st floor to vibrate.  So, the ONLY negative about this bike, is that it’s not really condo, or 2nd floor friendly.  Though, my bike is at least 14 years old, and I bet the newer models are much more quieter.

On Amazon right now, I see the prices from $300-$1000, depending on how fancy you want it.  But first, I would check out FB marketplace or Craig’s list, for a used one.  These things are sturdy, so find a local really inexpensive one.  I’m all for saving $, and not spending too much extra, to get moving.  I do like the fact that the seat is super cushy, versus a regular “bike” which will leave your bum sore.

Schwinn Airdyne


Recently, I’ve also been learning about the importance of strengthening our bodies, and growing and keeping muscle, and not just leaning out.  I know that at one point we all wanted to be skinny, but that is so so out, just like fat-free anything.  It’s done and over with, and it’s not healthy.  Be lean, but be muscular.  Or better yet, getting muscular, will help us all get lean.  Having healthy and more muscle, helps us avoid so many diseases, helps us have hormonal balance, and helps digest those treats that we have once in a while.  This is so important for women, and men too.  Weight training helps increase testosterone, a hormone so many men are deficient in, as we grow and age.  And for women, the benefits are even greater.  We must get and be strong.


I’m right in the middle of WEEK 8 of my every morning cardio routine this year.  It was day 53 today, since I started on December 31, 2017.  And as each morning passes, I’m constantly thinking about how I can keep this going forever.  It’s so much more NOW about LONG TERM GAINS.  Whenever we commit to working out, or whenever I committed to a new exercise routine in the past, I was constantly focused on tomorrow, or how I would look next week or the next month.  Now, I’m thinking:  If I can keep this up, and continue to feed my body right, and move it smarter, I can stop that aging and disease, and I can look exactly like this, and feel so good at 45, and then at 55, and then at 65, and at 75, just like I feel right now, at 35.

Is the Schwinn the answer to putting a pause on aging, and building longevity? Yes, it’s apart.  It’s a tiny part, a tiny 20 minutes that adds up well over time. The best part about committing to 20 minutes each day, is that those 20 minutes influence OTHER decisions throughout the day.  What you eat, how you feel, how you react, what you research, read, how you work.  It’s a domino effect, and once we push that first one over, the result is strong.  The opposite works as well. If you wake up and go into the office and have donuts, it’s so much easier to use that high blood sugar to make other poor decisions throughout the day.  Instead, we can choose to make one good decision to positivity effect our whole day!   I wrote this, to help us all get started with a morning routine.

Cheers, Friends, Exercisers, Strong Humans.









Keto/Low Carb Cheesecake: no flour, no sugar.

There’s more and more evidence about getting sugar or processed empty nutrient carbs out of our bodies, out of the food supply, and out of everything we put into our bodies.  It’s a mountainous task, and will we ever really ever see a grocery store filled with just the right grub, grub that nourishes your bod, versus hurts it?  Grub that is keto and low carb friendly that does not raise our blood sugar and illicit an insulin response? Probably not in my lifetime (even if I live until 150 which is the goal), but maybe just maybe.

The best thing I have heard recently about the ideal diet for all of us, is that none exist, we instead must CREATE what is perfect for us all.  It’s pretty brilliant, and if you take a step back and actually understand the importance of CREATING, with trial and error and research and time, the perfect diet for you, we are only then – on our way to creating the healthiest human we can all be and become.

With so many diets out there in the market place, the obesity rates, diabetes rates, depression and heart disease climbing, we know certain facts.

Facts: sugar makes ya sick.  And the older we are, the sicker we feel almost immediately afterwords.  I can’t have sugar in small amounts (not that I would ever want sugar in small amounts, because if I’m eating sugar it’s in BIG amounts), or else it immediately leads to (personally for me):

binge eating

mood swings

These two are awful for me.  Now, sugar may affect you in different ways, but for me personally, I will be hot one moment and cool the next, excited or sad, angry or super psyched.  It’s amazing that at one point I really thought I may have had bipolar disorder, when in fact, I was just stuffing my face with crap.  And using the word crap doesn’t describe the affects of sugar strong enough.

Recently, and always, because researching nutrition is always an act of LOVE and happiness in my world, I FINALLY got it into my head the dangers of personally ingesting sugar (and I believe for many people) and eating more keto.  I realized once you eliminate sugar from your diet, you will probably start to wake up like a whole new human.

I’ve gotten serious about putting more whole foods into my body, and that of my family, and slowly eliminating the junka.  Creating the perfect diet for you, means we have to incorporate foods and a lifestyle that works for us individually.  What works for me, may not work for you.  You may drink, eat, travel, work, socialize completely differently than me.  Therefore, we will have different schedules, requirements, needs, wants, cravings and nutritional desires.  We all also have different genes, and what effects you, does not effect me, and vice versa.  And that’s what’s confusing, because no one is the same, YET, we all can always benefit from more vegetables, less sugar.

Because I am a social being, I absolutely love a good get-together with good people at least once per weekend.  I started to research some low carb/low sugar desserts for my life.  Now, in the past, I promised myself I would never ever eat dessert again, but that worked as well as high heels on ice.  After a week of amazing eating, one get together and I was eating 8 cookies, 10 cupcakes and a chocolate piece of cake along with endless amounts of sweet wine.  But that’s just me.  So this time around, because when we know better, we do better, I decided to set myself up for some success.

My neighbor was celebrating a 40th birthday party this past weekend, and I made a pretty rad keto/low carb cheesecake for his birthday!  I wanted to make sure I had something pretty sweet and fabulous to eat, and something that wasn’t going throw me off a healthy eating plan.  And if it’s good for me, sharing is caring, so it’s good for others too!

I made the same cheesecake for my husband’s recent 38th birthday, and ALL OF THE CREDIT goes to  You can find the exact recipe here!

I started off with eggs, creme cheese, sour creme and vanilla and lemon extract, and added the sweetener Swerve.  There are a ton of sweeteners out on the market, so do your research about which one is healthiest, and which one is best for you.  I also have been a bit cray about using really good ingredients so you can use everything organic for everything or really well sourced grub, which of course, makes things just that much better.

I used a hand mixer to blend up the above, and then I used the Nutribullet (or if you have a Vitmax), to make it go from lumpy to silky and creamy!  It was EVERYTHING.

I made my crust in the food processor and added sliced almonds, and hazelnuts, and grass-fed butter, and you can add chia seeds, and whatever else would make a delicious crust.  I padded down the crust in my cheesecake pan, and then poured the cheesecake mix on top.  1 hour in the oven at 300 degrees, and BOOM!!!

Decorating this beauty was the funnest part.  I have come a long way, because if you showed me a “cake” with fruit on it, in the past, I would have ran to the closest grocery store for a tiramisu or a carrot cake (my two favorites), faster than a lion chasing their prey, but now, as I get older and wiser, I realize that FRUIT is dessert! We don’t need shitty high fructose corn syrup that raises our blood sugar, and starts us on the road to diabetes, often, if ever.  But we must put the effort in to set ourselves up for keto success.

I used raspberries, and blueberries, and blackberries to top the whole cake without any additional sugar or mix.  It was so pretty and perfect.  The leftover fruit, my son had the next day for a snack.  He loves apples, and pineapple, and strawberries and blueberries, but I was surprised he ate all of the blackberries and raspberries (as blackberries then to be a bit rough).  So double win win, as those berries have some of the highest nutrient content, out of all fruit.

I should have made the keto cheesecake cake the day before and refrigerated it, because it was pretty warm when we all cut into and ate it, but live and learn!

I wish someone sat me down at 20 and said to me:  “You know, sugar can mess you up.  It’s pretty bad for you and your body and your mind and your type.” But, now at 35, I’m learning this, slowly, at times painfully, and other times, beautifully.  I am not saying that SUGAR affects you this way too.  It does for me.  And if I knew the importance of avoiding it sooner than now, I’m curious about the life experiences I would have had.  BUT, we can’t go back, and we can’t regret, we can only forgive ourselves and keep moving forward as best as we can.  I also want to share that the best diet for me does not include Swerve or sweeteners or cream cheese every day.  BUT, there are special occasions from time to time, and when it is that time, it’s nice to have a treat that works IN your diet, and for your body, versus causing instant damage.

Create your ideal diet, and then fill it with what is most delicious for you – of the most natural and best kind.

Cheers, healthy food lovers.


Outdoor time, it’s a must, to heal and strengthen.

At one point in our lives, or the lives of our society, it was normal and regular to always be outdoor and outside.  Growing up in Poland until I was 8 years old, I was walking to school, walking to the store, walking to my grandma’s house, and then to my aunt’s house, and if we had to take a longer trip, like to my grandparents’ garden which was maybe 8km away, I was on the back (or the front) of my grandpa’s moto/vespa.  The sun was just non-stop shining down on us all.  I believe we had a car, but it wasn’t used for normal, regular day to day transport.  Add the fact that we lived in Ustka, right next to the Baltic Sea, where walking to the sand dunes and sandy pine tree filled forest – was everything.

Old school photos, one of a swim in the sea, climbing the fence in my aunt’s chickens’ house, and talking my dolly for a stroll – doing so much playing outdoor.  Always being outside was life.  All photos from mid 1980’s.


We’ve made so many incredible advances in our current world, but we have started to spend so much less time outside.  We now have to force ourselves to get out there for a walk, or for a bike ride, or for a day at the park or the beach.  My little daughter, who is three, loves being outside, and naturally wants to come home, grab her bucket and shovel and find some dirt and dig in.  My son on the other hand, I have to gently coax to get out there.  If he had it his way, he would spend more time inside.

Yet, what can we do, to incorporate MORE time outside to our lives, naturally?  Can we organically exclude the car from our errands, or the normal day to day driving?

Try on foot or via bike grocery shop runs.

My main source of car use is driving to the grocery store and back.  When I lived in NJ, originally there was a grocery store less than a quarter of a mile from my first home.  And I absolutely loved being able to walk there, and back, and grab my groceries for the day or weekend, and walk right back home.  Eventually it closed down, and later, my husband and I still at times trekked 2 miles to and 2 miles back to the closest Shop-Rite.  It took so much longer, but we used to load up the stroller with our little baby, and then the bottom part with our groceries, and I loved the outside time.

In NJ, we also, whenever the weather permitted, we would take walks around Robbinsville, to the grocery store or bagel shop or to their coffee shop, and even their amazing pizza restaurants.  It was so much fun to get outside, WALK, get to a destination, do what you need to do there (buy, or eat or shop, or just look) and walk back.  Being outdoor was everything.

Getting more outside time was probably one of the biggest motivators of why we moved south, and wanted nice weather all year round.  Being outside is healing.  And since my main goal in life is figure out how all of us can grow and stay incredibly mentally strong in all we do, and raise our children the same way – being out in nature – is a must.

We headed to the beach yesterday, and just being able to sit out there, with my toes in the sand, with the wind blowing, and fresh air everywhere – fed my cells.  I loved it so much that after we came home and settled in, while my baby was napping, I took my mug of tea outside, and got back in my beach-chair in the late afternoon.  I couldn’t get enough. Shine down on my sun, blow on me wind!

Once you feel how freeing, and relaxing, and de-stressing fresh air, and the sun, and just looking up at the sky is, it’s something we will want to do, and must do all the time.

What can you do each day, to get out there in the fresh air?  Can you take a walk each morning, or each lunch time?  I know it’s sometimes it seems it’s more fun to head out to a restaurant with coworkers for lunch, but what if you spent it walking around the office park?  What if you ate your lunch outside?  What if you just sat outside whenever you had a break, or could get outside.  What if you brought your chair outside your home, and just took a few deep breaths, while you could, each evening, while the sun was going down.

I know that you may be reading this, and you may be getting angry or rolling your eyes, or just saying to yourself, how the heck will you find time to spend outside.  It’s maddening the amount of things you have to do each day, and at night, and there is no way in heck that you can even take a five minute break.  But you must.  I know change sucks, but it’s a non-negotiable for a healthy life.  We must STOP, and break, and be outside, even if it’s just a few minutes during the day’s sunlight.

Getting a dog, has really forced me to get out there a lot more.  I’m determined to take my big fur child for a daily walk.  He loves it.  We take him to a doggy park each weekend, and he goes nuts running around with his friends.  It honestly is the best thing to see, and unfortunately during the week, all we have time is a nice long walk, but I know it’s better than just letting him out in a backyard, or nothing at all.   If you have pets, get them used to a nice hearty walk.  Get them out in the sunshine (or clouds, or rain), regardless of the day and weather, and go along for the rid.

I know Florida is about to turn into a hot humid state in the next couple of weeks, but I’m determined to stay up with our routine.  Even yesterday at the beach, I had my spf beach-shirt on, and a hat and sunglasses and my regular facial sunscreen.  Though outside time is everything, there is no reason to start turning into a prune, or building up skin cancer cells.  Cover up, regardless of the weather, and enjoy. (Even knowing this, I still picked up color on my face, which I think happened on the ride there & back.)

My children are still a bit little, but I’m excited to incorporate some outdoor adventures when they can hang and keep up.  I want to go hiking, and exploring the many outdoor spots, and nature around where we live.  Beauty surrounds us all REGARDLESS of where you live, nature is everywhere, and we must seek it, find it, and incorporate it in our lives.  Whether it’s mountains, or lakes, or the ocean, or just some really beautiful parks or streets – go out there and explore.  We must do it for our mind, for our strength, for our sanity, for our happiness, calm, and peace.  It’s  a MUST DO, and it sets us up for success.

It’s impossible to work inside, under bright lights and come home, and stay home, and then go back out to work, and then come home, and the only air we breath is once we get out of the car, and then back inside.  It’s impossible to stay healthy this way.  Doctors are so quick to prescribe pills for our minds, and we as patients are too quick to accept.  We must create a life that nurtures our minds and bodies with nature’s medicine.  I’m not saying to do anything like GET OFF pills, I’m just gently saying that we all must create a life that builds up our strength, and not a life where every aspect is directly or indirectly draining us.

Recognize what’s happening, and put your observations together for change and improvement.

Then, like the boss you are, incorporate, LITTLE BY LITTLE everything that will make so many things better.

This was our car, which I don’t remember using very often.  That’s my little sister standing by it, removing the snow from it.  Then, my grandparents on my dad’s side, and me in the stroller.  It looked cold, but we were still outside.  Lastly, me with the chickens.  Chilly, but dressed warmed and getting that sunlight.  I’m grateful for this childhood, and being raised out in the fresh air.

None of us just woke up in 2018, and found ourselves on one end of the nature spectrum or the other.  We all got there slowly. So whatever you are, accept it, and now – better it.  If you are already in an awesome spot, just keep going, and maybe invite a friend for some outdoor time, now or on the weekend.

I’m not anywhere NEAR where I want to be.  I want to SPEND MORE time outside, doing everything from day to day tasks, to huge big adventures that will feed my soul and continue to build life and memories and health into my family.  We, as women, as mothers, as parents, as humans, are the ones who can show our children the beauty of nature, outside time, fresh air, the sun, the clouds and the rains – and that they always must create a life, that incorporates all of this and more.

Cheers, may the sun shine down on us all, and feed our hearts, and minds happiness galore!

Nurture your soul. What can you do right now?

What is it that you really like to do?  Those little tiny things that are no big deal, but you can enjoy blissfully and un-apologetically?  Are you able to nurture your soul, all the time?  Maybe it’s coffee your favorite way.  Maybe it’s sitting down with tea, and reading a magazine.  Maybe it’s just getting back in bed, on a Saturday afternoon, for a nap.  Maybe it’s your makeup, maybe it’s a walk, or a super slow walk where you can breath and take it all in.

As I continue to write, I am starting to uncover that my mission in life may be to help women, help mothers, help humans to constantly grow stronger mentally, so that we can do everything we need to, and everything we want to, and live our very best lives, full of peace and gratefulness.

And for this, we must nurture our souls, constantly.

Yesterday, we focused on identifying and staying grateful for all that we have, yet, how is that possible without sitting back, standing back, and taking a tiny break, to allow us free time, a moment of time for gratitude activity.  First, identify what you absolutely love doing, what makes you feel good, what gives you that sense of pride in your life, a sense of freedom, that feeling of happiness.  This may be big or small, and at this point in my life, it’s just the TINIEST things for me, because it’s busy, and always going.

I don’t have the luxury just yet to vacation for a week at a spa or resort, BUT I do have a moment each day to make myself a delicious cup of coffee, and enjoy each sip.  Especially on the weekends.  On the weekends, I have 15 minutes to sit out in my lanai, and kick up my feet, and drink my coffee and just breath.  It makes me feel like I’m living the absolutely best life, and it’s just coffee, outside.

Homemade fancy coffee and homemade guacamole bring me back to life.

How can you constantly put yourself in a state of luxury and soul liberty several times throughout the day or week?  After I finish working out, I take a few minutes (maybe 3 or 4, but feels much longer), to sit out on my driveway on my yoga mat, and stretch it out.  It’s honestly the shortest amount of time, but it gives me that feeling of WOWWWWWWWWWW, I am NOW ready to get back in the house and get it all done for the kids, and for work and for life, and am ready for what’s in store.

In the PM, we pick up my daughter from her school on our golf cart, and lately the weather has always been sunny, and warm, and just riding 15mph to her school, with my best friend by my side – feels like a VACATION.  I can also decompress from the workday, and just relax, and sometimes we say nothing at all to each other, and sometimes we discuss the day’s events, or what’s coming up.  It’s a luxurious amount of time, that isn’t long, or extended, but just enough to absorb some vitamin D and let any bad energy go.

Can you find moments in your day, that you enjoy so very much, and focus on them more?  Can you treat yourself to your favorite activities?  Whether these are in your home, at your work, or special outside activities such as a pedicure, or a massage, or a gym session.  What can you do for yourself each day or each week, to bring you back to you, to bring you into constant nurturing and self-love?

Enjoying that outdoor air.

Perhaps it’s cooking your favorite grub, or cleaning up your home, or spending time on your favorite couch, reading a good book, or maybe it’s writing, or texting with a friend, or laying out in the sun or making a shake? What can you do, for you?

My husband needed a haircut, and I asked him if he could drop me off at Publix while he got it done.  I am always rushing while grocery shopping, so that day, I decided to just to lounge my way through the store.  I wanted to look at every vegetable, and then all their teas, and all the different flour products they have, and everything interesting I don’t ever have a chance to see.  Usually, most grocery trips, and I’m assuming this is the same for all busy humans, is a SUPERMARKET SWEEP type of run, where you are running from one item or another, or racing through the aisles dropping items into your cart like a mad clown.  But not that day, that day I was able to slowly mosey my way through, and it felt HEAVENLY, nurturing my insides.

In the evening, when it’s almost bedtime, after dinner is done, and the kitchen is cleaned up, I make myself a cup of tea.  And I want to sit down for a few minutes and watch Jeopardy.  My children at this point are playing right in front of me, and they are wrestling or building forts, or playing with those magnet pieces, and it all just feels right.  Everyone is fed, and clean, and happy, and the day is coming to an end.  I try hard not to think about work, but only about the fun that is presently going on.  Jeopardy is a silly game to check in with each night, but its so fun for me.  Thankfully in FL it comes on at 730pm, so it’s just enough time to get all the above done, and now relax with Alex Trebek.

These are the type of tiny little things that nourish my soul.  In these moments, I take back a bit of my sanity, and peace, and thrive on the kindness it brings forth.  In these moments, it’s EASY to think about all the good in our lives, and in these moments, it’s also easier to know that the tough times shall pass.  This is what feeling nurtured feels like:  total peace.  But when we don’t activate and do anything to bring ourselves back from the stress, the madness, the anxiety, how can we survive and thrive?

If you can, make a physical list or a mental list of everything you enjoy in this way.  And then put as many small tiny little actions in motion, so that you do spend this time, checking in with yourself.  Get to them right away.  Since many reading are now celebrating the weekend, use this weekend to get started.  What can you do for yourself today? Indulge yourself in your favorite activities, so that your soul can tag you back with super good feelings and truly feel nurtured.  It’s impossible to keep going and going and going, without these tiny breaks of love for ourselves.   Maybe you love to go to Barnes & Noble, and just sit back and read cookbooks or self help or a new mystery.  Maybe it’s the library.  Maybe you love Starbucks or Dunkin and just want to drink some coffee or tea in peace. Maybe you want to take some extra time and get your hair done, and nails done, or you want to put in this time yourself.  It could be anything and everything, and it’s our job to create these moments for ourselves.  Your partner nor your children know exactly what you want and need all the time, so take charge, and re-charge.

Cheers to you and your soul.  Cheers to a cup of your favorite moments alone.



Happy and Happiness. How to get happy, and stay happy.

I was talking to my great girlfriend this week, and I hope she doesn’t mind me saying, but she struggles with being happy, yet, she wants this so badly for her everyday life.  She wants to stop stressing, stop worrying, and just be happy with her life, and everything she’s built for herself.

I love her so much, as I do all of the people who just ROCK out in their lives, and it pains me to hear that for a large portion of her life, she has used one of the most incredible work ethics out there and created an incredible life for herself, yet still struggles to live in that happy, simple, peaceful place.

So many humans, so many women, and mothers, have a hard time, perhaps sitting back, or throughout their busy days to feel that sense of contentment, nirvana and feeling of just being grateful for all they have.  But we must change this.  We deserve to feel good.  All women deserve to get there, be there, and stay there, in a state of easy bliss.

What is true, and what we all know for sure, that having more, doing more, getting more, buying more, spending more, changing more, isn’t going to bring us that feeling of calm, feeling of relaxation, or feelings of happiness.  But what will do it, is constantly checking in with your feelings of gratefulness.  It’s not about anyone else, it’s not about your circumstances, it is not about luck, it’s not about what you don’t have, but about fully understanding and tapping into your feelings of gratefulness for your life.  It’s about feeling lucky already, for everything that has happened.

What do you focus on as soon as you wake up?  Do you wake up with anxiety or worry or stress about what you have to do, what you need to do, what you can’t do, what you don’t have money to do, or do you slowly rise from your bed, or allow yourself to stay in there a bit, and say thank you for it all.

It’s important to note, that none of us have it “all”.  None of us are the Kardashian sisters with millions of fans, and endless amounts of money, and resources to PERFECT every aspect of our lives.  We are real humans, real women, real people who must work extremely hard and smart to live the lives of our dreams.  But this is all possible, and possible immediately, and at the end of day, the absolute best way to live and be and create.

Wake up and say thank you.  Say thank you to yourself for your ability to wake up and breath.  Say thank you for the bed you just slept in, for the person next to you, for the kiddos in your home, for your pets, for the food in your fridge, for the furniture around you.  Say thank you for the chaos that may immediately erupt because of the pets and the kids and perhaps even the spouse.  Say THANK YOU for the argument you may have had the night before, because this means you are ALIVE and you are human.  Say thank you to everything that comes to your mind that is a current challenge or obstacle in your life.  Without challenges, we can’t get stronger.  It is IMPOSSIBLE to get and grow stronger without resistance.  Say THANK YOU for all of this.  Say thank you for the mess, for the laundry, for the groceries.

If you feel you have NOTHING good at all in your life now, say thank you for this too, because this means you are starting off, starting fresh.  Say thank you for your health, regardless of it’s status.  If you are in your worst possible health situation ever, still say thank you to those cells in your body that are functioning well.  Be grateful for the health that you do have, and focus on how you can start to nourish what is good, and improve onto your strengths.

If your past is a mess, be grateful for this too.  I know it’s tough, I know it’s impossible to understand WHY something happened, why someone touched you, why someone abused you, why someone didn’t love you, but calmly say thank you for this too. Thank you for giving me this pain, this torture, because I will NOW use it to get better.

If you suffered a great loss in your life, perhaps your love, perhaps your child, perhaps your sister or brother, or mother or father.  Say thank you for this too.  You knew them, you loved them, you experienced what you did with them, and now you can cherish the memories and remember just the best about them.

Start breathing.  Start to take in deep breaths as often, throughout the day as possible.  Give yourself time to breath, and let it all sink in.  How good do you have it?  What are your favorite things about you?  About your home?  About your spouse?  About your kids? Your car, your fun?  What do you love so much about your life?

If you physically need to take out a piece of paper, write it all out. 

I am grateful for…

…in my life, and start writing it all out.

Let it all flow out.  I am grateful for my husband, my health, my children, my dog, my cat, our bed, our home, our food, Publix, and Aldi, and friends and neighbors, and the sun, and living here, and the world, and everyone that does so much good for others.  I’m grateful for my childhood, and my teen years, and my college years, and my 20ies, and everyone I’ve loved, and my 30ies, and being 35, and everything and everything.  Start writing it all out.  Start jotting down, everything that is SOOOOO DARNNNNNN GOOOOOOD in your life.

My adorable little kitty – we love her so much, and all that green.  Each day, I try to stay grateful for these plants, because they are so beautiful.  They are just green, and nothing extremely special, but still, how cool that they are life.

Also, at the Flag Football game last weekend, a truck pulled up, called Lucky Goat and they were giving out complimentary cups of coffee.  I was so happy to have one, and it was so freaken delicious, that i’m still happy I had a chance to have one.  I’m still like “you know that’s some delicious coffee” and I feel my day is better TODAY, almost a week after this cup because of it.  Get to this state, just get freaken excited about all those tiny small things that make your day.  Look for them.  Look for them everywhere.

Don’t focus on any of the bad.  At one point, you won’t even need to categorize anything in your life as “bad” because everything will be there for a reason.  It’s a very powerful state to get to.  View everything is a lesson, and nothing is permanent.  But the sooner you can start to focus on the good, the less bad there is.  Again, I completely understand none of us live in completely ideal situations all of the time.  Not me, not you, not our neighbors, not our friends, not our extended family.  I get it, we all from time to time, or ALL the time, have to deal with shit.  But this is okay, and we must still find the good in everything, all the time anyway.  What are you focusing on?  What are you thinking about?  Where are you putting your energy?

The other day, we received an email from the association, that we must immediately replace our water heater.  It wasn’t broken, it wasn’t leaking, it was working just fine, but immediately, we had 45 days to provide a receipt of a brand new water heater.  As you can imagine, my first thought was like, are you serious?  Why?  Why do we have to go out and spend $1450 on a brand new water heater, when our old one was just fine.? But you know what I did instead.  I sent the email to my husband, asked him to set up an appt with a local heating company, and get this done asap.  I could have walllllllowed in my pity, I could have been reallllllly upset, I could have been annoyed, I could have gone back and forth on email with my association contact, and let this DRAGGGG on for so long.  I could have posted about it on social media about how ANNNNOYING this situation is, but instead, we handled it. It’s not about the money, because no one has or wants to spend $1450 to just go about and use up, BUT it’s about not causing myself MORE issues, more mental anguish than necessary.  At the end of the day, we replaced the water heater, we sent over the receipt, and the situation is handled and over.  And instead of getting upset, I was grateful we own a condo, in a development that cares enough and is smart enough to help all of the units stay healthy and updated, so that major damage is never done.  I’m also grateful that I won’t get a phone call, in the middle of the night, of a water heater, in the middle of December, leaking, no longer working, and getting SURPRISED.

It’s always about finding that silver lining, always.  It’s often confusing why some humans, why some of us have to go through really hard times, whether chronic hard times that never seem to end, or major situations that arise, that throw us on our arse – backwards & blindfolded.  Will we always know exactly why something happened?  Nope, that’s just how life goes and works.  But we can still work hard at finding a new normal, and still find the absolute GOOD in it all.

The only difference between humans is what we choose to focus on.  We can always focus on the negative in everything, or we can choose to focus on the positive of it all.  It’s fun to be happy.  It’s fun to enjoy your days, even when there are some really crappy parts to them.  My daughter is in a mood where a lot of the morning is a battle, and instead of talking – she whines-cries.  It’s a combination of the BEST of toddler years where everything is a whine combined with a cry.  Writing it out doesn’t seem like the worst but being exposed to this many hours each day, it can wear on you.  She’s extremely competitive, and has to do a lot of things exactly her way, or else the whine-cry comes out.  Even when she goes through her morning exactly how she wants, it’s a whine-cry morning regardless.  She wants the pants with the stars on them, she wants candy, she wants to get dressed first, she doesn’t want Friday socks, but instead Sunday socks.  She wants to open the drawer and close it exactly her way, she wants to pull up her blinds, she doesn’t want the dog to lay down, she wants to close his crate, she doesn’t want her brother to talk, she doesn’t want to brush her hair, she wants her ponytail in the back and now it’s too high.  She’s upset her diapers say size 5 and not 3, because she’s three and not five.  I mean, this is endless, and can go on and she can stay strong and persistent.  But instead, I just keep breathing through it all.  The GOOD news is that she is healthy, and mostly happy, and she slept well, and is behaving well in school, and she’s fun in the PM, and very independent, and social, and absolutely my best friend.  The good news is that because she sets me up for such resilience each morning, that whatever bad news, whatever upsetting and unsuccessful info I get throughout the day from work, isn’t anywhere as tough or as hard as what she puts me through.


We can find it in everything.

I go outside each day/most days, and every day I’m grateful for the beauty that surrounds me.  It takes my breath away, and I never want to not cherish this.  Because it makes me feel I have it all.  And these are just such simple things.

While chatting with my friend, I told her to just keep breathing throughout her day, and whenever her mind went to stress, or worry, to bring it back to gratefulness.  Consonantly get excited about what you DO have, what you already have.  If you have to PRETEND that you have something that you do not yet have, do that anyway.  It’s the only thing that will change.  Being thankful, being grateful, being happy, being in peace, means you have to immediately find this in your life already, and be grateful for it right now.

Even if you have to start small, start there.  Maybe you love your fleece blanket, or the brand of socks you have, or you love the way your hair moves, or your eyes, or you have just the best father or mother — whatever it is, focus on this, and constantly, and all the time, bring your mind back to what is already full, already right, already strong, already perfect in your life.  Removing thoughts and emotions and feelings about what is NOT right, will get us all closer to living that life of peace, and tranquility and natural flow, and success and progression and positive change, and growth and nonstop learning.  Focusing on the good, staying grateful all day long, for what we have, what we’ve built, who we are becoming and have become, will give us all and everything in life that we need and we want.

Cheers, Grateful Humans.

Pain. Stop using your PAIN to kill others.

Yesterday, ironically, we celebrated a Hallmark holiday that is meant to inspire LOVE and commemorate LOVE, Nikolas Cruz walked into a high school and killed 17 people, and then wounded another 14, and scarred the rest of us, for the rest of our lives.  He was in so much pain, he caused others even more pain, forever.

You can’t take back this type of hate.  You can’t begin to understand it.  Though I’m trying.  I woke up early and tried to find out what type of individual does this.  I learned he was adopted by a married couple as an infant.  His father passed from a heart attack when he was six and then his mom just died this past November at the age of 68 from flu complications.

I can instantly see how painful or confusing it may feel to be adopted, how complicated it may feel to deal with mental illness (I don’t know if this is the case for him particularly, but I read that he was or was in the past medicated), and also, to lose your mother.  I get it.  But guess what, millions of other people deal with this type of pain and WORST PAIN on an every single day basis, yet, they do not hurt people.  They do not scare them, and kill them, and murder them and then run away.

What’s different for me about this mass shooting, is that the videos taken by the students are truly horrifying.  I’ve seen plenty of action movies, and nothing compares to listening to bullets fire a few feet away from you, or watching the shaking hands of children while the law enforcement teams go in.  Nothing will get this out of my mind.  My six year old son watched the same video last night on the news.  And he said, “Mom, mom, our school is so safe.  We have patrols everywhere.”  I did not have the heart to tell him that no baby boy.  Your school is not safe.  Especially with crazy human beings walking around with murderous anger in them.  Pain that they refuse to stop and end and put to GOOD use, they use pain to kill others.

Yet, instead of ending his own demise, this coward ran out.  He ran away.  He tried to blend in with the victims, he tried to blend in with the terrorized and went off for a jog.

The worst part is that there is no motive, and no reason, and nothing GOOD ENOUGH that could explain why a 19 year young man would do this.  Yet, we’ll continue to try to understand, why someone became SO out of touch with reality and human life, and so angry, and so vile and evil, that he became another mass killer and serial predator.

One of the reasons I pursue self development so hard, and take full responsibility for my own mental health and mental state, and all responsibly for my life and my present and my future, because I know if I don’t, it is easy to get turned around.  Humans do hurt, and they deal with painful pasts, and awful presents, and bleak futures.  Some humans are mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally ABUSED, tortured and neglected.  Humans feel unloved, and not cared for, and they not only FEEL this, but they are.  I’ve seen sons and daughters and children and grown adults tossed aside and ignored and not loved, and for what?

But these same humans have to keep going on, we must keep going. 

How can we use the PAIN we feel, to do better?

How can we deal with what we’ve suffered, and not hurt others? How can we do better onto others, than what others have done onto us?  When you step outside yourself, and just get to know a tiny bit about others, whether personal, or in general, it’s easy to see their anguish, or hurt or sorrow and understand why.  It’s not easy to understand why others hurt us so bad, but once you do step outside, you can begin to understand a bit.

Yet, that’s no excuse. There will never ever be an excuse good enough.

We live in a free world, a free land, where accessing our psyches, and our deep selves is possible.  It’s our DUTY to learn about what causes us to react, and act, and do what we do.  It’s NO LONGER someone else’s fault, but our OWN.  We can act like monsters, but why, when we can learn to do better?  It’s our right, and a privilege we must all acknowledge and hold tight.  WE CAN AND MUST DO BETTER.

Because we were abused, we can decide to NOT ABUSE.

Because we were neglected, we can decide not to neglect.

Because we were beaten, we can choose not to beat.

Because we were yelled at, we can choose NOT to yell.

Because we were called stupid or a dummy or bullied, we can chose to not call names and bully.

Because we were starved of love, we can choose NOT to starve others of love.

Because we grew up fucked up, beyond comprehension, we can still choose to live better.

Pain is awful and continues the cycle of misery when it’s used to hurt others.

I can’t stand excuses, and as adult human beings, we must take back our power to do better.  You are NOT going to change others, but you can certainly control and change yourself.  If you are a mess, you change yourself. It’s okay to admit you may have some really awful qualities about you, you may have some really bad thoughts, you may have a lot of crazy anger storming through your blood.  It’s OKAY to admit you need a lot of work, a lot of improvement, a lot of learning to grow better, to do better.

Sitting back with your feet high in the air, and your head even higher, believing EVERYONE ELSE IS to blame for your pain, won’t cut it ANYMORE.  Get your bum to work and do work on you.

It’s 2018, and this is okay.  It’s allowed.  Whether you are a man or a woman, whether you are a mess or just a tiny mess.  Get to work so you STOP hurting other people, so you stop tormenting and traumatizing others.

Because at the end of the day – we all want to feel good.  We all want to sleep well.  We all want to be and live in peace.  Do you think by NOT handling your own demons, it leads to peace?  Do you think by hurting, ignoring, neglecting, abusing, and killing the spirit of others, makes you feel good? Do you think your pain is best used to hurt humans, or you feeling pain enough?

I know the ego sucks. I know its awful to admit we are wrong, we must do better, we must be stronger, we must apologize, and we must recognize that it’s US and not THEM.  Take ownership over you, take ownership over what you FEEL, how you react, what you do, and how you love and how you hate.  Control yourself.  Control yourself, until it’s natural and normal to be kind again.  Control yourself until you don’t react in hate, spitting venmon, and making excuses for all you do.  It’s OVER.  It’s DONE WITH.  There are no more excuses that are GOOD ENOUGH.

It’s 2018, and the bs has to end.  I don’t care what happened to you.  If you do what was done to WRONG YOU, onto others, you are evil, you are the devil.  Fix yourself.  Recognize this, and fix yourself fast, before you repeat cycles of hate, over and over and over again.

Teach and show your children people CAN change, regardless of where they have come from.

Do this for yourself, do this for your loved ones, do this for society, your community, this country, this world, and everyone you impact on a daily basis.  What LEGACY do you want to leave?  What do you want to share?  What are your best qualities, and can you GIVE THEM OUT FREELY, and inspire others, instead of all that hate?

I don’t care about how old you are, how young, how uneducated, how educated, about your circle and if everyone is they same.  It’s DONE WITH.  Better yourself, and stop the neglect.  Stop the pain from festering, from growing, and from causing so much senseless death.


Love Love Love Love Love, and how to grow it, nurture it, share it and cherish it.

Since today is Valentine’s Day, I wanted to write a post about LOVE.  All about love, and how to give it, share it and receive it!

When I think about the people that surround me on a daily basis, or the people that were in my life in the past, or the people that shaped my love life and love relationships (also platonic) – I think back to how much I was loved, and felt loved as a child.

My grandmother in Poland (along with all of my extended family), really nurtured me.  I feel that to this day, and probably appreciate this more than ever.  My grandma really pampered over me in just the best way possible.  I felt growing up I was such an important human being to her, and NOW looking back, I feel it helped me grow into a confident little child, then teen and now adult.  Growing up in the US, I also felt very loved and cared for by my mother and father, who were both were very affectionate with my sister and I and instilled in us a sense of LOVE security.  We were hugged, and told we were loved, and our birthdays were made special, and we also were given the necessities that we needed to feel good, above and beyond than what we even probably needed.  My parents did get divorced right as I went into college, but that did not really affect me as much, because my love tank was pretty full at this point, and built up well.

Dating from puppy love in high school, to what felt like true love in my twenties, I also somehow chose really loving and caring people.  I can’t think of any bad qualities or characteristics in any of the beautiful humans I was lucky and blessed enough to date.  No one ever hurt me psychically, no one even spoke to me in a degrading way, but relationships, as you are growing and maturing and learning what you need and don’t need, tend to go in the direction they are meant to – depending on where you are in life.

When I met my husband it was a really nice and organic and beautiful way we became a couple, and we fit well into each other’s lives.  We were able to merge our lives and our goals, and create an even brighter present and future than what we were living currently, separately.

There’s the old saying that says we marry someone like our father, and this is very true in my case.  My husband is a very hands on dad, and papa, and loves his children, and is kind and caring and doesn’t have a single poor word to say about anyone.  He works hard in everything, has a stellar work ethic, and also has a ton more characteristics I admire about him, that I lack on a HUGE level.  I get to learn from him daily, and I feel blessed he chose me.  Yet, what the best part about our love marriage is that we do work daily, to make it better.

I also find myself, right now, surrounded by a circle of women, whether friends that I’m extremely close with, or friends that I just see or talk with once in a while, who constantly inspire me, lift me up, and motivate me to be a better human.  Plus, they are all hella funny, which is fun.

If you find yourself feeling extremely loved, and cared for, and taken care of, keep doing what you are doing.  This is what makes us feel pretty amazing about our lives.  Being able to receive love, and then give it to those that we love most.  It’s truly a beautiful cycle.

But if you find yourself a tiny bit sad, or not as loved as you wish or not as loved and cared for or taken care of on an emotionally level as you want to be – here are some things that I use daily, to constantly increase my love fuel.

Space.  Letting people be.  There’s nothing more beautiful than letting the people you love most, the people that love you, and giving them space, when they need it.  My husband and I are very different people in many areas, and the last several years, we have learned more about the importance of stepping back, and letting each other be, when this is needed.  We do a ton of activities together, but at most times, he is who he is, and will do as he wants, and same for me.  It’s easy for young couples to want to change who they are with, or expect their partners to change to exactly who they want them to be, but this doesn’t work.  Instead, step back, and watch what can happen by letting your love grow in enough space, and light and peace.

Know who you are, know what you need.  My biggest role and project in life right now is to provide my children with a warm and loving home, a clean and healthy life, and give them everything they need, so that they can continue to develop into efficient and independent human beings.  It’s a lot of work at times.  And to re-group, I need a lot of solo time.  Not everyone is like me.  Not everyone wants to be alone at times, but I recognize this about myself, and now my husband also knows this is very important to me.  I sometimes spend a Sunday afternoon alone, or skip a social event, because my head is on all the time.  This little retreat gives me so much re-charge, that I can once again turn on, and go about all our tasks in life and home.  I also know what my husband needs, to feel amazing about his life and his goals.  He’s not necessarily like me, but being able to recognize that about each other, is really freeing.

Appreciate what you like, appreciate the good.  If you are constantly looking for the good in others, and the good in your partner, you will see it.  Sure, we all have qualities, that need improving, or annoying personalities, or disappointing characteristics, but there is still a ton of good.  If you are committed to someone, or a friendship or someone you care about a lot, look for their good, all the time.  I was chatting with Tony and I am excited to celebrate our anniversary this year, and I felt a lot of gratitude in my heart, and gratefulness to the Universe that it’s been our best marriage year so far.  Nothing DRASTIC has changed or happened, but the only difference is that I have really started to focus on appreciating all of the things he’s amazing at.

It is easy to see all of those qualities, when those are the qualities you are looking for.  If I wanted to focus on all the things he lacks, then I sure could go about that too – but why?  It would only bring to light negative things that maybe he can’t yet change, or that I can’t yet change about myself.  He does this with me too, and probably taught me this.  I’m not a perfect-amazing-error_free human, but 90% of the time, he treats me this way.  At firs,t when we met, I’m like, are you kidding?  Can you really like m this much?  But it wasn’t because I was truly this perfect being, but because he naturally saw the nice stuff about me.

And so, I have learned to do the same.  We treat our kiddos the same way.  We see their amazing qualities, and we ignore the personality traits that at times make us cringe.  I love my son so so much, and I think he’s just the best, and I focus on this, ad I use those qualities to help him improve further.  I don’t sit there, starring at him or yelling at him, reminding him of his shortcomings.  Is he a perfect 6 year old boy?  No, but I will NOURISH him, instead of stomp on him.  How are we treating each other, in our love relationships?

Card I received from my son, our whole family, including cat & dog.

Family Love

Start today.  Become fast best friends with your partner, with your lover with your husband/wife/spouse/love.  Constantly, stay grateful for all they do, stay grateful for their qualities, get thankful, each night and each AM, for their love.  Perhaps it’s not as strong, not as lean, not as amazing as you want it to be, but you will get there.  Give them love.  Give them more love.  Figure out what they need most.  Do they need to be told you love them, do they need to see it, do they need a gift, a letter, do they need affection, do they need all of the above, all the time?

Many of us adult humans have love holes that we need to fill.  We aren’t all confident, we aren’t all secure, we may have been hurt, we may have been the ones hurting others, so we must fill these holes in ourselves, and our loves.

Love yourself most.  It is my goal that my best friend and I live our whole lives happy and in peace.  And I wish the same for everyone who wants this as well.  Yet, what if that’s not the case, for you just yet?  I know the stats.  I know the rates.  I know how hard it is to make marriage work, with kids and home and jobs and money, and social media and everything else.  It’s a cluster of everything and anything coming at us all the time.

If you love yourself most, and get to know how to love yourself most, you will then be able to give that to your partner, or another partner, or the right one for your life.  Imagine if you start plugging up your own love holes.  Imagine if you wake up tomorrow and are at peace and happy with yourself, and because of this, start to see a lot more love from the one/ones you love.  It’s a full circle, and the more love we give, the more love we get.

What if you didn’t grow up with much love?  What can you immediately do?  I can’t even type this sentence, because the idea that so many humans come into this world, and aren’t love properly, aren’t pampered with care, aren’t taken care of, aren’t nurtured correctly, boggles my mind.  I know that this is the case for so many, and the only advice I have is just to give love and time.  Love onto your children with all of your might.  Learn about love.  Plug up your love holes, and give the amount of love to others, as you wish others gave to you.

If you have little kids, love onto them hard.  Wash them, clean them, feed them, tell them you love them, recognize their great qualities, and let them know about them.  My little babies and I always say “Kocham cie bardzo kochanie” when I turn off the lights before they go to sleep.  It means, I love you so much honey.  The last thing I want them to say or hear from me, before they fall to bed, is that they are loved and safe and secure, so that when they go off to make relationships in the future – they choose humans who make them feel exactly the same way.

Cheers to YOU, because you deserve ALL the love, and cheers to those you love!

Happy Valentine’s Day!





Making fresh grub and improving health, is a full time job.

I haven’t tracked this, but I should, but I load and unload my dishwasher at least twice per day.  Before dinner (from the day), and then before bed (from dinner).  I always chuckle (because chuckle is actually as fun a word as it’s meaning), because that’s just cray.  This past weekend, I made breakfast and snacks and food for the week, and then snacks and lunches, and everyone eats differently, and there’s three kids, and then me, and then my husband, and then that’s without anyone even stopping over for brunch.  Though I did make a delicious ginger tea for my neighbor and I, but that was just one tiny thing.  It was endless amounts of chopping and dishes and cleaning up and putting things away, and where’s the Tupperware, and what do you want to eat, what can I make you, and just non-stop.  The dishwasher got loaded and unloaded three times, just on Sunday.

By the time my husband wanted to use the dough that he kneaded earlier in the day, that was rising in the microwave for him, to make some homemade bread, I was dead.  When I say dead, I’m being super extremely dramatic, but totally spent from the short order cooking, all day long.  At first it’s fun, and then it can get a bit ridiculous.  We don’t have feeding times in this family (which may or may not be a problem), and I just feed my kids on demand – alllllll dayyyyy longgggg.  Since we love spending time at home during the weekends, it’s basically mama is in the kitchen prepping food all day long.

Holy, Moly, Guacamole, Exhaustion.

It’s comical and funny, but is this what it takes to EAT well, healthy, raw, fruits, veggies, homemade grub?  Yup, pretty much, at least for us, and I know for many of the mamas surrounding me.   My little people are only 3 & 6 & 15, and they know how to go into the pantry and grab some school snacks and open them up and munch on them, but because I want them to stay away from them as much as possible, I’m constantly offering up fresh apples, strawberry, cucumbers, scrambled eggs, and whatever else that is in it’s natural form in the fridge, that all need a bit of prep, whether it’s washing grapes or baking organic chicken on demand.  Exhaustion.

Dinner for my children last night.  It’s not impossible, but it’s work.  Work we must get done.

I’m complaining, but also accepting that this is life.  This is WHY convenience food was born, because once women entered the workforce, and the workdays became extra long for both mamas and papas, who was going to spend all day in the kitchen cooking and prepping and cleaning up?  Do we all need to step back and say NO to other commitment just to feed ourselves?

Yes, and no, for sure.

It helps that my husband and I work from home, because all day long, I have the access of my kitchen, and it’s pure freedom on the weekend to eat as we go.  Yet, the commitment to this is not without work.  And for anyone working outside their home, or even stay at home parents, I can’t imagine it’s nonstop food go.  Yet, I have also recently committed and re-committed, especially since my people are growing more and more each day, to feed them as best as I can, for as long as I’m privileged.

My stepdaughter loves Caesar salads, so I’m motivated to making her one at least once per day.  I add the Romaine, and baby spinach, and organic croutons (and non-organic ones from Aldi too), and raisins, and protein or other grub.  I chop strawberries on top of her Greek yogurt, and then everything else for my little kids I described here.  Instead of scaling back, we’re going harder.

This is my boy this past weekend, eating whole wheat tortilla shells, melted with grass fed butter, and cheese, and nitrate free turkey slices, eating along a cup of Kombucha.


I want these children have everything they need, to function well, and to grow healthier and to really know that part of the reason they feel so well, is because they eat so well.  Already, they are beginning to feed themselves, and the options in front of them, are strong.  I want them to get stronger and stronger, and I want their palates to continue to develop and be drawn to the fresh, the raw, the veggies, the fruits, and I want them to know that meat and seafood should come from a place that isn’t a factory but instead, nature (as often as possible).  I want them to eventually choose NOT to eat eggs that aren’t pasture raised or always choose organic when possible.

Saturday after a flag foodball game, I headed to Publix to ONLY pick up organic frozen blueberries (because my daughter loves to eat them), and while there I added Romaine lettuce, and Kombucha and bananas and Z-Bars (HACK!!!), and red cabbage to my cart, because healthy eating needs a lot of grocery replenishment.


Because the effort is grand, it’s okay to acknowledge and recognize and slowly accept this effort.  As a society, we love to hack things and maybe take shortcuts to sincerely save our sanity and peace, but it’s also okay to accept, that when it comes to food and feeding ourselves and our families, sometimes, shortcuts and no or minimal effort and health, do not always go together.  And this must be okay too.

The same goes for feeding ourselves, our individual human bodies.  Our ability to prosper, and prevent disease starts off with what we put into our bodies.  Heck, it even starts off with HOW we put this food in our bodies.  Are we eating in a car, or are we eating sitting down, in peace and quiet?  Are we giving our bodies enough time BEFORE our first bite, to let the digestive juices start flowing?  What are we feeding ourselves?  Is it enough, is it too much? Are we eating because we’re hungry?  Do we know how certain foods make us feel?  Are we feeding our cells and nourishing our insides, or are we just stuffing food in our mouths?

This was a late breakfast for my husband on Sunday.  Pasture raised eggs, over a lot of GREENS and half an avocado, drizzled with homemade vegetable curry.


If your goal is to improve your health via improving our nutrition, it is okay to take many steps back and accept that a lot of effort must go into your day to make this a reality.  There are tons of articles out on the web, how to make eating well and super easy and short, and I may even write one in the future, but for now, as your STEP 1, accept this fact.  Accept the fact that you may have to go to the grocery store, or market, every day or every other day, and buy fresh grub.  You must wash it, you must chop it, you must eat it and the store the extra. You must learn how to cook eggs and meat and fish correctly, so to persevere as much nutrients as possible.  You must have to learn how to enjoy these foods without the sugar.  You must then be okay with cleaning up grease and fat and stuck-on food, but this is still okay.  To save money, you may have to learn how to love leftovers, and be able to eat this again the next day.  You must be okay with going back to the grocery store, and picking up more fresh grub, and doing it over and over and over again.

I made fruit salad for my daughter’s Valentine’s Day party at school.  No one liked this, and no one ate this, except for me, and my kids just wanted to pick out the strawberries.  Sometimes our homemade grub is a fail, and sometimes a win, but we must keep food playing, and getting it done!


At one point, this will be your life, and as your health, your sleep, your stress and your mind improves, the motivation for eating whole real natural food, in it’s purest form, will begin to grow, and flourish.  It’s pretty exciting when I can say without a doubt I just had the absolutely best weekend ever, doing nothing but eating and feeding my family, surrounded by friends (and well cleaning the house).  It takes taking a ton of steps back, from the endless hustle that many live, but it’s also taking so many steps forward with your health and longevity and pursuit of health, wealth and stealth perfection.

Cheers, real food eaters and lovers.






Getting an exercise routine started, and keeping it going, day after day.

2018 has consisted of 43 total days, and each and every morning, I’ve managed to get my booty up, and out the door to run, and the last four days, stationary bike.  I also set a goal of writing a blog post each day, and today’s would be blog post #38.  I’m five posts behind, but no big thang.  I’ll continue to write about exciting and interesting topics, and I’m committed to publishing new words each day that motivate me and everyone reading, to stay on tracks with our goals of health, wealth and stealth!

This particular morning routine, and being able to sweat it out for 20 minutes has allowed me to step up my game and set up my day for a bit more personal success.  In 2010 I completed 365 days of running, and it changed my life.  I started as a single woman to finishing the year of running pregnant with first and only little boy with my now husband and best friend.  It was LIFE CHANGING, and I owe 10000% of the wonderful life that was created to getting my bum out the door, and CHANGING things up.

It’s easy when we don’t take an active role each morning to WAKE up and set some intentions to get stuck in old patterns or habits, or even unhealthy and unhappy patterns and habits.  Being able to wake up and increase the heart rate for 20 minutes, and come back in, sweaty and excited and with the blood flowing sets up the day the right away.

What also happens in those 20 minutes is that WHATEVER happened the day before or the night before, gets washed out.  It’s healthy to LET THINGS go, and not live in the past, regardless of how recent.  Whenever I get running or biking, it’s a physical transformation that lets bad energy out and the activity helps process whatever has happened, and let’s it ride out.  I know that may people live with anxiety, and I’ve experienced moments of anxiety in the past, and learning and training our bodies to LET GO of what we can no longer use or what is no longer helpful is extremely important.

In 2018, we need an OUTLET to discharge of the endless amount of information we are subjected to.  The emails, the texts, the phone calls, all of the noises, the to do lists, the news, the TV, the social media, the news feeds — everything is out there putting in information into our system.  A morning routine, that includes getting busy for 20 minutes has helped me organize and then ELIMINATE all that non-important information.  After I finish, I feel OPEN, clear and in PEACE and mostly excited for the day ahead.  It’s nice to be able to look at whatever has to happen next both in the short term (like lunches, and a shower, and the work day), and then the long term (what do we have to do this month, what do we have to do this year), and be able to handle BOTH calmly.

I mention the morning, because the morning works well for me.  But you may find that you do best working at midday, or in the evening when the day is OVER, and you can truly relax.  Whenever you can fit in a routine that nourishes your soul and replenishes you – get it done.

It’s powerful to be able to start a habit and continue it daily.  It does get easier each day, and even if you have to re-start and re-start and re-start, just keep going with it.  Because I’ve gotten up each morning and immediately know what I need to get done, I am confident that TOMORROW I’ll be able to do the same, with minimal effort. YET, when I started, and specifically December 30 of the past year, I had to lay out EVERY single article of clothing I needed for the next morning’s run.  Why?  Because I didn’t have a habit or a routine established.  I usually slept until I woke up or was woken up, and I would get out of bed and do whatever needed to get done, I didn’t do what I needed to do for myself to then do everything that needed to get done the right way.  I also remember several times I made running dates, I would barely sleep the night before because it was not my ROUTINE to get up and get out the door, therefore forcing my body to sleep light because I was afraid I would not get up.

If you don’t have your ideal morning routine set up, commit to something you can do tomorrow, and put EVERYTHING in place to get it done.  If this means you lay out every single piece of everything you need, get it done.  If this means setting two alarms, get it done. The next day, do the same, and then the next day, until it all starts to become a habit and a routine.  Now, my children even know that I’m outside in the AM, and I always come back sweaty, and it’s NORMAL for them to see me this way.  Yet, it takes time.  Give yourself as much time as you need to set up a daily routine, you can execute each day, weekends included.  After spending time with friends on the weekends late into some nights, I still get up the next morning, because otherwise, it would be easier to fall off.  Yet, what I have noticed is now when I’m having fun, I make sure that the fun I’m having doesn’t make it completely IMPOSSIBLE to still get up the next day and have a great run.  If this means an earlier bedtime or less wine, or less sweets, then it’s a WIN.

Ideally, we always want what we want, with minimal effort.  And this is the goal and will happen.  Yet, we must turn a routine into our normal daily life, so it’s never a separate thing, but natural and part of life like everything else we do without thinking.  I drink water, I breath, I sleep, and I workout in the am.  It’s still a tiny bit separated, but it’s merging and merging into normal everyday life, and will continue to.

The biggest tip I can share is to document the change.  Open up an Excel file and jot down what you’ve done each day.  My son’s teacher taught me this, because by having us fill out a reading log, we started reading so much more.  It’s the same with whatever you want to get done physically and with your morning routine.  How long did you run or bike or yoga or mediate?  How many miles, how did you feel?  What day is it, and how many days in a row?  This is so incredibly motivating to me, and I love seeing the numbers go up.  It’s a PHYSICAL measure of your success, success that you can ONLY build onto it daily.  Can you see improvements? Can you see consistency? Can you share it with others?  Can you go two days in a row, can you go for a whole week, or a month or 30 days or 100 days?  Can you get excited about running your first 100 miles, or biking 1000 this year?

It’s not very exciting but it gets me excited to keep building.


Thankfully, my schedule and that of my husband has kept me home so there have been no big snags in my ability to get up.  Obviously, if he traveled or if I had to travel for work, I would have to get a bit more CREATIVE in making sure my goals kept on.  Yet, that’s part of the fun.  Can you still get done what you need to get done, even with challenges and obstacles?  If you are in a morning routine that is serving you, and you realize how much it is benefiting your mental and physical health, it’s easy to get creative and STILL get it done.  Yet, when you aren’t, it’s easier to only look at the obstacles and the excuses right there in front of us all.  I hate talking about excuses because I’ve made plenty of them in the past.  Heck, I still do!  But, it’s good to call them exactly what they are – excuses!  And only when we keep learning and recognizing what we need to do – that we put the right wheels into motion.

What if you kept trying and trying and trying to successful workout each morning or each day but always quit or fail.  Well, so have I.  I’ve been there.  Heck, it was 2010 the last time I finished my 365 running streak, and it’s now 2018.  So yes, did it take me eight years to FINALLY get back on the wagon and holding on instead of falling off.  Have I tried over and over and over to start other routines that I knew would serve me deeply on every level, but never manged to!  Yup.  That’s just life.

Give yourself grace, and move the heck on, and keep trying, try again, and get it done. Compare yourself to no one, and just get out there.  Wake up today or tomorrow and move it.  Move your body, clear your mind, set up a vehicle of GETTING RID OF THAT BAD ENERGY through sweat, and then welcome in all that FRESH AIR and FRESH perspective and peace through deep breaths.  Whatever you start, you will change up, but just get started.  I started just running, and I had to pause to heal my sore hip, and now I’m biking.  I also want to swim and maybe will have to do 20 minutes of elliptical time in the future, and then run again.  I have added weight training to the routine, and other movement.  I will continue to curtail and add and listen and take away and make it exactly what my body needs that day.

Cheers to YOU, and your morning routine, your exercise streak, you getting started and most importantly keeping it going and going and going, until it’s paramount that YOUR particular routine has become YOUR life and the way you live and breath and kick off each day, completely in ease and peace.